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Thursday, 1 September 2011

been down so long, that it looks like up to me

As i lay here with my barbie blanket king of queens on in the background, my mind is occupied with thoughts of will i ever get better when will i feel like a normal 22 year old girl who doesn't spend her days worrying if her illness is getting worse rather than better i long for the days where i didn't have a care in the world where i didnt analyse everything i just want to feel like me and its been so long i forget who i am as im defined by being ill i live in a daydream i feel i live life in my head because thats the only way i can do the things i want without being restricted. I've had a big set back this week and i have had enough i dont want to feel like this any more i have perfected the art of feeling down " i've been down so long it looks like up to me" being down is all i seem to know how to feel sometimes well today i make a change today i'm on a mission to fix myself doctors don't want to know they think its all in my head so from today a change will take place step by step im on a mission to fix and find myself. Sorry bit of a different post more of a post for me so i have something to refer to if i start to slip back to my old ways.

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